A quick guide to help you on the path to creating a beautiful memorial for your loved one

3/6/202411 min read

When we lose someone we love, finding a way to honor their memory becomes incredibly important. Headstones not only serve as a physical marker but also as a beautiful memorial that can be customized to reflect the unique life and personality of your loved one. So today I wanted to take a look at the process of getting a headstone, from understanding how it works to designing a beautiful memorial that truly captures the essence of your loved one.

How Does Getting a Headstone Work?

1. There's No Rush

First, let me say there is no rush. We see families that come in days after losing a loved one and others that still haven't gotten a stone 20 years later. Don't feel like this is a decision that you have to make right away. Some families feel like they want to get over this important hurdle as soon as possible after a loss, whether that is in order to move past this phase of their grieving or because they want the stone in place in time for an important date. Others aren't ready to move forward as it is often one of the last steps in laying a loved one to rest and can be difficult to close that chapter of a person's life fully. Wherever you are in the grieving process, know that there is no rule on when to take care of this important step, so take you time and do it when you're ready.

2. I'm Ready, what now?

You have determined the arrangements for your loved one and you're ready to create a lasting memorial to honor them. Check around for local monument companies, not all companies are created equal, but often the care, compassion, and service that you will get from a local business makes a world of difference. I know for our family at Memorial Art Company, we are a local business, family owned, and a part of the community. We strive to provide quality and excellence to each and every family we serve. From affordable pricing, to personalized service, each family is more than just a stone to us, it a relationship and a chance to create a beautiful work of art to honor your loved one. In addition to the personalize support you will get from a local company; they will also know the area and the cemeteries, and they have the experience to help you navigate any questions from cemetery regulations to unique requests. We are here to make sure that you are not alone, and you have a trusted advisor and consultant, so you aren't having to figure everything out on your own.

Don't be afraid to shop around either. Our customer always tell us that the moment they sat down for a consultation with us, they knew they wanted to give us their business. It's important to have trust and a connection with a decision this 'monument'al. So, don't be afraid to check out a few different companies, partially for pricing, but sometimes the cheapest company isn't very great, so make sure that you feel comfortable and trust the company you choose to take care of you and your loved one. If you can tell they care, then you know that they will create you something truly special.

3. Research & Consultation

Further down is a little more information on Design, but here is a brief overview of design and consultation from the operational side:

Once you've identified a monument supplier or while you are considering options, so some research. Many families will go walk through the cemetery or a local cemetery to get an idea of what style and color stones they like, designs that stand out. If visiting the cemetery where your stone will be placed, you can also get an idea of what is common at that specific cemetery. Are all the stones roughly the same, or is there a little bit of everything? This will give you a good starting place to know what might be allowed at the cemetery and whether you want something that complements the stones around your loved one or something that really stands out in a crowd. Knowing the style and colors you like will also help you to nail down or compare pricing.

You can always schedule or stop in for a consultation to help if you are feeling overwhelmed or don't know where to start. We have many families that come in from ground zero and trust us to help talk through what they like and make suggestions based on their needs and the regulations for the cemetery. Many others come in already knowing pretty much what style and color they want or even will bring in a photo of an existing family stone or a stone they found online or in the cemetery they love and want to get something similar to or match.

We have a large display of all shapes, styles, and colors at our locations, which is great for some families and over whelming for others. A little research will at least give you a starting place for us to have the conversation and help you turn those ideas and what you like into a real world design.

4. Approval and Production

Every company works a little different, so for this I will just walk through our process as most companies will have something similar with some variation.

With us typically once you are ready to move forward, we will sit down and write up a contract where we will finalize the size, color, and style of the stone. Get some basic information and an idea of what you are thinking for the inscription and design to give our designer a starting place.

Once the contract is signed and the down payment is made, we will order the stone (most of our monuments come from a small local business that cuts them and polishes them helping to reduce costs and time). We will send the design ideas off to our in-house sketch artist who will create a mockup of the design while we wait for the granite to arrive.

The sketch gets sent to you to look over and then we will work with you to make any updates or changes to the design until it is perfect and exactly what you want. Once we get an approval on the final design and the granite is in stock, we move it into our shop where we do all of the lettering, any laser etching in-house at our main office.

Once the stone has been lettered and is ready for placement at the cemetery, we reach out to you to let you know so that we can finish out any remaining balance and get the stone scheduled to get set.

Our team will then go out to the cemetery and set the concrete pad for the stone and then place and secure the stone to the pad and send you a photo of the monument placed at the cemetery.

5. Welcome to the Family

Once the stone has been set you are a part of the Memorial Art Family. We keep detailed records of, so that should you need a matching stone down the road or any additional work done in the future we can easily track your original order down to match color, design, shape, fonts, etc...

Designing a Beautiful Memorial

Designing a headstone is a deeply personal and meaningful process. So, let's look at some basic information for styles, colors, and designs to help you start thinking about what you want when the time comes:

1. Style

Stones can come in all shapes, and even can be custom carved, so there are a lot of choices out there. Let's take a look at the most common styles that we typically keep in stock. These are timeless and even if you are considering a custom piece, these often serve as the base design off of which they custom design will be built.

Grass Marker - Grass Marker are just that, standard flat stones that will sit on the ground. We often place them on a concrete pad, sometimes a customer will place them on a granite base. For a simple timeless design grass markers are great. These are very common for smaller stones for children or as footstones for a plot in addition to the main stone.
Bevel - Similar to a grass marker, a bevel marker is often flat on the ground, and they have just a slight slant to the top helping to increase visibility of the inscription and from the road, while still keeping a simple timeless design.
Slant - As the name implies, a slant is an upright monument often 1-2 ft tall that slants downward from the back to the front. these give you the benefits of an upright in that the inscription faces you making it easy to see the names and design as you walk or drive through the cemetery without having to walk up to the grave. These also give you a little height without being too tall or overbearing so that you don't' hide or overshadow surrounding stones, especially if there are not a number of large stones around the area where it will be placed.
Upright - Upright monuments are often what we picture when we hear the word tombstone. Invoking the traditional R.I.P. tombstone that is so often referenced in designs, films, and artwork. Upright monuments are a beautiful blend of grand and stately pieces with a classic ageless feel.
Custom - Custom pieces can really be anything you can dream up. It is truly amazing so see the beautiful sculpted pieces that can be created out of stone.
Benches - Benches are a great way to honor someone, whether in addition to a more traditional stone or in place of a traditional stone, there are a number of styles of memorial benches that can be created to honor your loved one.

2. Color

Granite is available in a ton of unique colors, all with their own unique tones, veining, and details. Traditional colors like black and grey are the most common and often lend themselves to a simple, classic, and timeless design. But if you are looking to go with a more classic shape/design and want to add a little bit of a unique one of a kind feel or you just want to compliment your design, consider what color stone you would like. The link below is to one of our suppliers with just a few of the colors available.

3. Design

Once you've chosen the style and color, it's time for design. Sit down and take a second to write out what text you would like on the stone: Names, dates, any additional inscriptions. From there think about any additional design feature you want. Here are some things to consider:

Reflect Their Personality

Think about the qualities that made your loved one unique and try to incorporate them into the design. Consider their hobbies, passions, or significant life events that you can symbolize through engraved images, quotes, or symbols. This will ensure that the headstone truly reflects their personality and the life they lived. Maybe it's the logo for their favorite sports team, their favorite flower or animal, or even a hobby like sewing or gardening.

Photos

Consider whether you would like to incorporate a photo onto the stone. Look through your photos for something that captures them perfectly. Photos can be done in a number of ways, but typically you'll either have an engraved photo for something permanently etched into the stone that will stand the test of time, or porcelain photos are an option which are durable and offer options for color photos to be added in a beautiful way. The decision on whether to add a photo may also help you nail down some other design choices as often the text will be designed according to the photo placement. Laser engraved photos provide a more traditional black and white look and typically need to be done on a black stone for a quality look and detailed contrast. On a lighter or colored stone, a porcelain photo is the way to go.

Scenes or Larger Photos

If you are planning on going with an upright stone, we are seeing more and more families that are opting for designs on both the front and back of the stone. Often a more traditional design on the front and then sometimes a simple inscription with the last name on the back or a full etching if it's a black stone. We've had full farm scenes, a car, or even a collage or custom designed photo combining images of the individual with photos from their life to create a permanent homage to their life in stone.

Involve Family and Friends

Remember that designing a headstone can be a collaborative process. Involve family members and close friends in the decision-making process to ensure that you are able to capture your loved one in a beautiful design and to lighten the load. Not having to make all the decisions by yourself can make the process much easier. However, it's also important to know when there is too much input. We've seen families on both extremes, overwhelmed by trying to make the decisions alone and overwhelmed by having to much input to nail down a design. Again, this is where having a trusted and knowledgeable monument company at your side can help. Whether to bounce ideas or to help refine multiple ideas and opinions into something based on our years of experience, we can help you figure out what will look great and help you to refine your thoughts into a beautiful design.

Getting a headstone to memorialize your loved ones is a significant and emotional decision. Hopefully this not only gave you some insight into the process and how to go about getting a monument, but some insight in how to choose and design the perfect memorial for your loved one.

One Last Note: Plan Ahead

More and more we are seeing individuals take the time to sit down and design their own monument. Picking out and designing your own stone is a great way to ensure that you get a design that speaks to you. It also helps to alleviate a large and difficult decision for your friends and family in the future. Just like preparing your will, planning your funeral, or deciding how you want to be buried, pre-planning your headstone is a great way to lighten the load on your loved ones. We offer pre-planning options for individuals to come in and choose what they want and give us design info for what they want so that when the time comes the family can just move forward with ordering and approving the final stone. We also have many individuals that will go ahead and design and order the stone and then either keep it until the time comes or have it placed at the Cemetary if they already have a plot. That way all your family needs to worry about is adding a date when the time comes.